Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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