I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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