went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
