Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
