I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize