ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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