i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
