So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
