Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
