You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
