: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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