i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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