Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My life is pants optional.
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