I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
