She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
