Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Im part way to drunk.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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