a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
