Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
