I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
