listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
