Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
