I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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