Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
