You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
