just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
