I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
