Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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