he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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