I need to stop coming to work sober
now i know why i became what i already was.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize
