All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
