lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
