Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
im holly from the hills drunk
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
