I murdered the dance floor call the cops
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
