come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
