So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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