Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Couch. On fire.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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