My cat gives me a boner
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
