ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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