I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Just cropdusted the office
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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