Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
