ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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