Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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