Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
