i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize