Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
