i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
