there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
