Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
