I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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