just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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