can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
