Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
