Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize