I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
