You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Who died my cat blue again?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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