Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I need moral support for this bender
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Im part way to drunk.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
