She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
