I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
