If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
